1 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,897 Here's to surviving the holidays. 2 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,133 (chuckles) To Bloody Marys. 3 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,267 (Joffrey coos) 4 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,338 And pumping and dumping. 5 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,173 Right, my little buzzy wuzzy buzzkill? 6 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,008 (Joffrey coos) 7 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,010 Dad said you guys are ironing things out. 8 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,046 Yeah. Trying to, at least. 9 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,348 Looks like Christmas wasn't such a bad idea after all. 10 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,983 You're welcome. 11 00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:54,586 God, this drawing almost ruined everything. 12 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,022 It's weird. Mom said it was yours, 13 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,191 but I swear I remember drawing it. 14 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,427 No. No, she's right. That's one of my drawings. 15 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,263 Yeah. (scratching) 16 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,265 Um, are you gonna let Wilfred in? 17 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,167 He's just gonna keep scratching if you don't. 18 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,469 I'm gonna pee. 19 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,008 What are you doing? Just letting the world know 20 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:19,011 what a versatile guy you are. "A little bit country, 21 00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:21,613 a little bit rock 'n' roll"? So, what did Kristen say 22 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,950 about the drawing? I was just asking her about it when you interrupted me. 23 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,252 I'm gonna have to sand and repaint this. 24 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,620 Dude, it's a compliment. 25 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,689 I'm basically saying you're Kid Rock. 26 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,460 My cab's here. I'm gonna get a bikini wax, 27 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,129 and I want to still be a little buzzed when the lady rips it. 28 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:40,466 Uh, oh, hey, real quick. Um, I-I was just wondering. 29 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:43,235 Who's that character? Oh! 30 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,038 That's Mr. Floppy Ears. It was just a silly 31 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,773 imaginary character I used to draw. Oh. 32 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,408 H-How'd you come up with him? 33 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,076 I don't know. I probably made him up. 34 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,778 It's what most kids do. 35 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,780 Kind of reminds me of Wilfred. 36 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,148 (scratching) 37 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,050 You know, you talk about Wilfred more 38 00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:00,152 than most people talk about their neighbors' dogs. 39 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:03,555 I guess I just... Nobody talks about their neighbors' dogs, Ryan. 40 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:05,991 (groans) 41 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,060 (sighs) (Joffrey babbling) 42 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,331 Thanks. What? It's not finished. 43 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,600 "Ryan is a little bit 44 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,668 chiseled." It's true. 45 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,003 You look good. 46 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,471 Have you been working out? 47 00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:28,247 (phone camera shutter clicking) 48 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,617 Oh. It's for my Instagram. 49 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,252 If all my friends 50 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,254 don't see a photo of every single meal I eat, 51 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,089 they'll probably start to think I'm weird. 52 00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,191 Although, since Jenna and Drew cut me off from people food, 53 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:42,127 it's pretty much been the same photo. 54 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,463 So Kristen was a dead end, huh? Pretty much. 55 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,366 I mean, she thinks she drew the drawing. 56 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,368 "Mr. Floppy Ears." 57 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,205 Then again, I saw myself doing it in my memory from therapy. 58 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,274 Well, maybe it would help to give it a rest for a while. 59 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,109 You know, distract yourself. 60 00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:58,544 We could play a game. 61 00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:01,547 Um..."Balderdash"? "Scattergories"? 62 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:04,116 You think that would help? Well, it's like 63 00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:05,384 the pill in the cheese. 64 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,186 Once a month, Jenna wraps 65 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,621 these heartworm pills, which I hate, 66 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,790 in cheese, which I love. 67 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,225 I could never solve the problem 68 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,227 of how to eat the cheese but not the pills. 69 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,562 Until one day, 70 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,530 I go outside and I have a little game 71 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,465 of Growly Stick Tug with Drew. 72 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,302 I come back in, and then suddenly... 73 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,204 inspiration struck. 74 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,539 What did you do? Well, I started stashing the pills 75 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,908 between my lips and gums. 76 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:33,478 That's disgusting. 77 00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:37,849 I just wish there was some other way 78 00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,885 to get more information about that drawing. 79 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,722 Nice. I already got 17 likes on my latest Instagram. 80 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,557 All my peeps are bugging out 81 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,160 'cause now they know what my meal looked like. 82 00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,394 Your peeps? 83 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,463 Wilfred, you don't have any... 84 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,932 Bruce. 85 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,235 What about Bruce? 86 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,502 He's known you for a long time, 87 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,271 right? 88 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,273 Plus, he's a part of this. 89 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,741 Wh-What if he knows something? 90 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,676 No, Ryan, Bruce cannot be trusted. 91 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:08,213 He's a snake. Well, sure, he's a little shady, but... 92 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,515 N-No, I mean he's literally a snake. 93 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:13,285 You know, like a hissing, slithering... 94 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,287 snake. 95 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,722 What snake thing is that? You know, 96 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,290 when you catch a snake and you try to eat it 97 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,524 but it bites the inside of your mouth 98 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,792 and it makes your cheek swell up. 99 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,195 Like... No. 100 00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:25,797 And I've seen Bruce. He's definitely not a snake. Oh. 101 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,799 Because snakes don't walk around on two legs 102 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,701 and have opposable thumbs and talk to you. 103 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,136 Kind of like dogs, right? 104 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,638 But most importantly, 105 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,307 have you ever seen Bruce alone in a room 106 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,443 with a mongoose? Stop playing mind games with me. 107 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,445 What if I started messing with your head? 108 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,815 (laughing): Oh, my... Oh... I'm sorry. 109 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,818 That is the cutest thing I've ever heard. 110 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,254 (laughing hysterically) 111 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,656 You are adorable! 112 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,658 I'm the master of mind games. 113 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,326 That's what I do. 114 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,794 No one mind-rapes people like I do, 115 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,162 least of all... 116 00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,232 Shit, there's someone at the front door. 117 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,845 WILFRED: Okay, that is the weirdest thing ever. 118 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,580 There's no one there, but clearly 119 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,349 there was a knock on the front door. (knocking on door) 120 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,584 There's someone at the door again. 121 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,031 Ryan? 122 00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,767 Bruce? 123 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:39,838 Shit. 124 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,007 Well, it's quite a surprise, you just showing up 125 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,608 out of the blue like this, Ryan. 126 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,444 Sorry, I-I just thought... 127 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,279 What? That I had murdered 128 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:48,513 an elderly couple? 129 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,948 Was living in their house, 130 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,451 cashing their Social Security checks? 131 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,319 I mean, I get it, Ryan. 132 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,555 I mean, I give off that vibe, don't I? 133 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,956 No. 134 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:01,393 Deb and her daughter have taken me in like... 135 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,795 family. 136 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,731 Hey, they look nice. 137 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,333 They are nice. 138 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,536 They're away at a Christian retreat this weekend. 139 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,704 If you're here to visit, 140 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,406 your shoes have to come off. 141 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,475 Deb's rule. 142 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,677 I got your address off of Wilfred's phone. 143 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,380 I was actually surprised that we live so close to each other. 144 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,914 Did Wilfred send you over here? 145 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,584 H-He doesn't know I'm here; I swear. 146 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,053 Well, he must've really pissed you off, huh? 147 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,588 Let me guess. 148 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,023 He had you kick your cousin's kid in the face 149 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,060 with a running start, didn't he? What? No. 150 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,928 He didn't have me do that either. Look, 151 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,931 I-I tracked you down because I have some questions. 152 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,768 I-I was hoping that we could... Is this 153 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,369 crayon-related? 154 00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:46,405 Yeah. 155 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,673 I knew this day was gonna come, Ryan. 156 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:50,776 Are you familiar 157 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,778 with the concept of wormholes? 158 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:53,879 Like... 159 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,614 time travel? Yeah. 160 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,616 Like time tr... 161 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,618 You know what? 162 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,720 I think I've said too much already. 163 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,922 This is a bad idea. I think you should leave. No, no. 164 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,791 No, I-I need to know. 165 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,627 H-How long has Wilfred been in my life? 166 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,362 Why is he in my life? 167 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,733 Are you sure you're ready for those answers, Ryan? 168 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,801 Yes. 169 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:18,870 Well, there's gonna be a price. 170 00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:21,640 I want Wilfred's testicles. 171 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,376 Really? Look, you know as well as I do 172 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,411 that Wilfred's aggressive. 173 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,413 He won't stop till he gets what he wants, 174 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,382 usually at our expense. 175 00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,418 He's a bad dog. Bad dog! 176 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:36,388 And how do you take a dog's aggression away? 177 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,090 (imitates scissors snipping) 178 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,826 Isn't there something else I could... I want 179 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,061 his balls, Ryan. 180 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,010 What are you reading? 181 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,012 Um... 182 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,848 Eyes up here, mate. 183 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:06,485 Just... reading an article. 184 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,487 Sorry. Pardon me. 185 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,489 Pardon. Whoa. Can you just move?! 186 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,425 Hey. What's going on? 187 00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:14,593 Are you okay? 188 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,596 I went and saw Bruce. 189 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,764 Damn it, Ryan! 190 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,533 I told you he's bad news! 191 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,368 I'm sorry. 192 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,970 B-But, listen... 193 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:28,039 I-I think he might actually know something about you and me. 194 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,641 Something big. 195 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,176 How big? 196 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,546 Like... "where you came from" big. And I assume 197 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,516 that dirty prick wants something in return for it. 198 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,783 Yes. 199 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,552 A-And I should've told you earlier. 200 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,987 And-and I swear, I-I was never actually 201 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,388 gonna do anything. Spit it out. 202 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,624 Spit it out, mate. 203 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,626 He wants your testicles. 204 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:51,129 The family grape seeds? (scoffing laugh) 205 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,532 Okay. Well, 206 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,067 if it's balls Bruce wants, 207 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,670 then it's balls Bruce shall have. 208 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,506 Are you familiar with Vincenzo's Gourmet Meats? 209 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,508 That place on Rose? 210 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,510 They make a specialty meatball 211 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,980 that happens to look identical to a dog testicle. 212 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,918 Tender veal, ground pork sausage, 213 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,655 slivers of fried garlic and the slightest hint of paprika. 214 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,891 Mmm. They sound delicious. 215 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,726 It doesn't matter what they taste like. 216 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,096 All that matters is what they look like. Stop it! 217 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,165 This is just another one of your mind games. 218 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,667 What are you talking about? You saw 219 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,936 how focused I was on the drawing, so you got Bruce 220 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,604 to trick me into thinking he could help. 221 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,607 All because Jenna stopped letting you eat people food. 222 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,776 If I was working with Bruce, why wouldn't I just ask Bruce 223 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,111 to buy the meatballs for me? Oh, wait, 224 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,948 I'm sure you have the perfect explanation for that, too. 225 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:47,185 Uh, because Bruce and I are both banned from Vincenzo's. 226 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,620 Yeah, that's it. 227 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,121 Mate... 228 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,756 I'm on your side. 229 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,091 And I'm telling you, 230 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,260 I know Bruce. 231 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,629 And I know my testicles. 232 00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,098 This will work. 233 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,102 Hmm. 234 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,471 So I'm thinking we should maybe get three meatballs. 235 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,706 You know, in case we drop one. 236 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:08,974 Why not four? 237 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,476 Totally. Better to be safe than sorry. 238 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,812 Maybe we should just get a dozen. Dude, seriously, it's like 239 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,547 you're reading my mind right now. 240 00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:18,216 By the way, this is the longest way ever to Vincenzo's. 241 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,118 Wait, we're not near Vincenzo's. 242 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,553 (panicked): Ryan, what's going on? 243 00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,822 Sorry, Wilfred, but this is the only way. 244 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,625 Ryan?! Ryan! 245 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,793 Ryan! (techs grunting) 246 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,161 You weren't kidding. 247 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,597 He's a handful. WILFRED: Ryan! 248 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,165 He put up quite a fight at first. 249 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,667 But after we sedated him, 250 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,569 the ear cleaning couldn't have gone smoother. 251 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,971 Thanks, Doctor. 252 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,574 (door shuts) 253 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,319 Who's the master of mind games now? 254 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:05,597 (groans) Shh... 255 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,165 What's happening? Shh. 256 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,533 Oh. 257 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:11,703 You're okay, Wilfred. Shh. (groaning) 258 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,706 No. No, no, no! 259 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:20,045 (crying): No...! 260 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,280 It was the only way, Wilfred. 261 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,116 Well, I couldn't risk missing out on answers... 262 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,819 the answers... for some meatball switcheroo. 263 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:31,156 Ryan, you idiot, there were never any answers! 264 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,724 But Bruce said... 265 00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:33,958 Bruce was lying! 266 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,695 He was in it for the meatballs, same as me! 267 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,030 Vincenzo banned us from the deli, 268 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,033 just like I told you sarcastically. 269 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,702 (crying) 270 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:47,305 Oh, my beautiful, little poppy seeds. 271 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,008 (crying) Wilfred, listen, I... 272 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,077 How could you do this to me? 273 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:56,147 I mean, sure, Bruce and I were mind-gaming you, but... 274 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,583 this is worse than anything I ever did to you. 275 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:02,721 I know. That-that's why I... And I've done some awful, awful things to you. 276 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,155 Registering you 277 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,024 as a sex offender in the state of Oregon? 278 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,727 Putting fake blood stains on the ass of your shorts 279 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,096 just before you go bike riding? 280 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,732 (moans) 281 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:16,701 You have done some awful, awful things to me. 282 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,103 But this! 283 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,039 Everything else pales in comparison. 284 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,074 I know. 285 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,777 I'm really sorry it turned out this way. 286 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,779 No, it's okay. 287 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,114 (sniffles) 288 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,615 Now that I have no balls, 289 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:34,219 it's kind of hard to stay angry at you. 290 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,788 I've heard that some dogs, 291 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,759 once they're neutered, they start to... change. 292 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,394 Do you think I will change? 293 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,929 It's possible. 294 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,132 (whining) Oh! 295 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,400 God, I hate it when I get like this. 296 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,803 My emotions are just, like, all over the place. 297 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,805 (sighs) 298 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:57,041 No, no, no. The doctor said to wait at least 24 hours. 299 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,746 Oh, shit! I forgot this toy store was here. 300 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,815 Sorry. God, it must be tough 301 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,151 to look at all these fresh, untouched stuffed animals 302 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,786 now that your sex drive's gone. 303 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,221 I-I'd take you inside, but... 304 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,459 This bag is majorly cute, Ryan. 305 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,761 I can totally see you carrying that 306 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:20,064 with my head sticking out the top of it. 307 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,666 Hey, you! 308 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,901 You look good. 309 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,769 Did you lose weight? 310 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,338 We're totally hanging out for brunch soon, okay? 311 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,674 She is so fat. 312 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:33,111 Wilfred, don't you want to check out that toy store back there? 313 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:36,781 Uh, yuck! My ears are, like, totally having a bad moment. 314 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,851 Okay, I really think you should come see that store. 315 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,186 Wow. 316 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:44,022 Seriously, it's moments like this 317 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,857 that I'm glad I no longer have testosterone. 318 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,860 Men are from Mars. 319 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,863 Everyone knows store lighting can't be trusted, 320 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,932 especially when you have a non-traditional figure. 321 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,366 So, try it on now. 322 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,969 Ew, I'm not changing in front of you. 323 00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,370 Wilfred, I have to tell you something. Wait. 324 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,940 Come tell me if you think this sweater is totally fierce. 325 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,374 And be honest! 326 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,377 Wilfred? 327 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,346 (shrieks) 328 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,053 Oh, fabulous. 329 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,988 You're awake. 330 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,356 So... (laughs) 331 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,825 All numbed up, are we? 332 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,227 What the hell is going on?! 333 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,295 Shh, relax. See, 334 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,331 the thing is, well, as you know, I've changed. 335 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,299 For the better, I think. 336 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,870 But you're still the same old macho, manly man. 337 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:36,407 And if we're gonna stay best friends, well... 338 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,542 I'm sorry, Ryan. 339 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,178 Wilfred, let me go! 340 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,347 We're gonna be such bitches! 341 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,915 (gasps) 342 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,388 No, no, no, no, no! Wilfred, I didn't really have you neutered! 343 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,023 Everything you're feeling, is only psychosomatic! 344 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,059 But you did have my ears cleaned, which is bad enough. 345 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,196 Wait. So, you... 346 00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,497 Of course I knew. 347 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,199 I warned you, Ryan. 348 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,334 Never try to mind-game the master. 349 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:07,338 Not to mention, pretending to neuter your best friend? 350 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,275 That's like the worst thing a guy can do to another guy. 351 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,243 Not cool! But you started it! 352 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,279 It doesn't matter! You punched me in the nuts! 353 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,347 Which reminds me. (grunts) (yells) 354 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,416 (groans) Oh, come on! 355 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,451 You got me harder than I got you! 356 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,120 Aah! 357 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,422 Oh, what is this, a dick punch fight? 358 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,190 Oh, God! (coughs) Oh! 359 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,793 Look at us, Ryan. 360 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,262 At each other's throats, messing with each other's heads. 361 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,464 How did it come to this? 362 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,300 Or more importantly, 363 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,802 who would want it to come to this? 364 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:40,104 Bruce. Bruce. 365 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,373 God, it all makes sense. 366 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,276 He knew we'd start mind-gaming each other. 367 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,477 I bet he's laughing his ass off right now. 368 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,147 So, this was all just a game. 369 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,315 He totally played us. 370 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,950 Not yet. 371 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,885 This game's not over. 372 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,455 BRUCE: Come on in, Ryan. 373 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,891 I'm surprised you got here this soon. 374 00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,993 We got to do this quick. 375 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,461 Deb just ran out to get Tammy 376 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,330 at oboe practice. They're coming back here, 377 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,332 we're gonna watch Biggest Loser together. 378 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,834 Are you okay, buddy? 379 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,971 Oh, Wilfred and I sort of had a little fight. 380 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,238 Did you now? 381 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,940 Wow. That's a shame. 382 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,509 Two amigos fighting like that. 383 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,411 Well, here they are. 384 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,612 I got them. 385 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,514 I didn't think you had it in you, Ryan. 386 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:27,352 (laughing): Whoa! 387 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,488 You be sure and tell Wilfred he can come over here 388 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,524 any time he wants and take a look at these. Actually... 389 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,994 there was a complication with the surgery. 390 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,363 What kind of complication? He... 391 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,232 He didn't make it. 392 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,336 Bullshit. 393 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,339 No, no, no, no. 394 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,607 Wilfred can't die, Ryan. 395 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,542 That's not how this works! 396 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,945 But you... you wanted to hurt him, right? 397 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,480 You said he was a bad dog. 398 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,881 Yeah. 399 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,549 Hurt him. I didn't want him killed! 400 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,218 Oh, my God. 401 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,386 Don't you get it? 402 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,021 Without Wilfred, 403 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,622 I got no purpose! 404 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,290 Oh, my God! 405 00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,558 I'm nothin'! 406 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,228 Well, at least you have Deb and Tammy. 407 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,462 Deb and Tammy... shit! 408 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,530 I can't believe it! 409 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,464 Goddamn it! 410 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,400 This is over. 411 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,702 It's over. 412 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,906 Holy shit! Bruce! 413 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,474 Oh, Jesus. 414 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,209 No! No! No! 415 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,444 No! 416 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,414 WILFRED: Hi, Ryan. 417 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,349 (Bruce laughs) Boom! 418 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,084 Mind-gamed, bitch! 419 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,085 (laughing): Gotcha! 420 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,920 You're insane! 421 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,422 Uh, insane in the membrane. 422 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,057 Yeah. You know what? 423 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,192 I can't believe you made fun of me 424 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,261 for taking that special effects class at the Learning Annex. 425 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,495 You guys 426 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,097 are psychopaths. 427 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,532 No! No, it was just 428 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,400 a prank, Ryan. When Wilfred told me 429 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,601 that you were gonna try 430 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,370 and put one over on me, I couldn't resist. 431 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,539 WILFRED: I even got him to buy the meatballs 432 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,441 after all. 433 00:17:56,443 --> 00:18:01,712 I do love me some Vincenzo's meatballs. 434 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,514 I thought you were my friend, Wilfred. I am your friend. 435 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,050 That's why I had to teach you a valuable lesson. 436 00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,119 Never try and mind-game the masters of mind games. 437 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,354 You cannot win. 438 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,295 What's the matter, Wilfred? 439 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,529 Does it taste a little nutty? 440 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,466 N-No. 441 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,302 But there's no way you...? 442 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,704 Stole a pair of dog testicles from the biological waste bin 443 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,540 at the vet earlier today 'cause I figured you'd double-cross me? 444 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,077 No, I couldn't possibly do that. 445 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,379 How could I mind-game the masters of mind-games? 446 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,215 Let me get this straight. 447 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,549 I'm not gonna be dining 448 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,618 on Vincenzo's gourmet meatballs today? 449 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,421 Goddamn it! 450 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,589 I went through all this shit 451 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,624 for zero meatballs?! 452 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,494 Get the hell out of my house, Ryan! 453 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,728 Get out of my house, Wilfred! 454 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:54,298 Get out! Take that damn dog testicle with you. 455 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,402 Ryan, I've got to say, 456 00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,637 I was impressed back there. 457 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,506 Good game. 458 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,508 You're not mad at me for making you eat a dog testicle? 459 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,677 Well, actually, it was tastier than one might think. 460 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,679 I swiped the other one on my way out. 461 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,581 I'm saving it for later tonight. 462 00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,420 Oh, shit! 463 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:18,723 Did I leave that on for three days? 464 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:24,695 I'll admit, it was nice to get away from this for a while. 465 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,365 Games are always a good distraction. 466 00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,702 Uh, it's Kristen's drawing, but... 467 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,705 I saw myself making it. 468 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,708 I saw myself... 469 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,378 drawing the blue barn. 470 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,613 Well, may-maybe that's all I drew, 471 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,849 but why would I...? 472 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,248 Oh, I can't find anything on the symbol. 473 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,717 Have you learnt nothing, Ryan? 474 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,387 I mean, how did you even find it in the first place? 475 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,823 You need some distance. 476 00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:41,572 Serious question: 477 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,242 If you knew that you could get away with it, 478 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,245 would you rape... someone? 479 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,715 No. Of course not. 480 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,783 You know, I'm like-like talking about, 481 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,553 like, say, if you knew there was, like, zero chance 482 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,389 that you could get caught, like, would you... 483 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:01,525 rape... someone? 484 00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:05,796 Under no circumstance would I ever do that. 485 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,267 Nah, me, neither.